Sometimes the most powerful way to reclaim your life is to literally reclaim your space – one paint stroke at a time.
I gave him about three months after we broke up to move out. During that time, I knew that the moment he left, I was going to completely redo my space. So I started planning – browsing online, filling up my Amazon cart with all the things that felt like me, preparing for my metamorphosis.
The evening he finally left, I hit “buy now” on that cart and immediately started scrubbing down my room. It was more than cleaning – it was a feeling of cleansing and breathing in my new life.
Finding My Voice in Color
I knew I wanted pink. When he was here, that wasn’t an option (red flag much?). I chose a calm gray tone for the walls and decided on a beautiful mauve pink for my accent colors. Every single spot I decorated to reflect who I really am gave me more and more confidence. It allowed me to hear my voice louder than ever before – finally living for me, for the first time in my life, doing things because I enjoyed them and because they brought me happiness.
Creating your sanctuary matters. Here are some resources to help you design a space that supports your mental health:
- Psychology of Color in Interior Design – understanding how colors affect your mood
- Creating a Calming Bedroom Environment – evidence-based tips for better rest and relaxation
- Feng Shui for Mental Health – simple principles for peaceful spaces
The Therapy of Taking Control
When creating my new space, I knew I wanted somewhere I could easily decompress and calm my anxiety. I needed a place where I could shut out the world and find peace in my own mind.
After painting the room, I rented a carpet cleaner from the hardware store. I didn’t realize how therapeutic it was going to be. As I was washing that carpet, it felt like I was scrubbing him and all the negativity he brought into my life right out of those fibers.
The power of “fresh start” rituals:
- The Psychology of Clean Spaces – how decluttering affects mental health
- Mindful Cleaning Practices – turning chores into meditation
- Creating Healthy Boundaries Through Environment – using your space to support healing
Small Changes, Big Impact
I got really pretty bedding that made me feel special, and I quickly made a habit of making my bed every morning. When he was here, he was so lazy and made me slave over him – he never left the bed, so I could never make it. With the made bed and my clean, peaceful space, I was able to really focus on me and my next chapter in life.
Breaking Free from Old Voices
Here’s where it gets real: Three years before I kicked him out of my life, I had cut out a toxic, narcissistic friend. Toward the end of that friendship, I felt like my every move was controlled by her. When I was making over my room, I was doing everything without her judgment, and it was such an amazing and moving feeling.
But of course, because of the control I’d endured for so many years, my thoughts kept bringing me back to her power. Before hanging something, I’d think, “She would judge this so bad.” I had to keep reminding myself that I have my own voice and opinion, and she’s no longer here to judge my every move. I am safe. I can make these decisions, and I don’t have to second-guess myself because of someone else’s judgment.
Breaking free from toxic relationships:
- Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse – understanding manipulation tactics
- Rebuilding Self-Trust After Abuse – resources for survivors
- Setting Boundaries with Toxic People – practical strategies for protection
Your space is yours to create, your choices are yours to make, and your voice deserves to be heard – especially by you. Every small act of reclaiming your environment is a step toward reclaiming yourself.
If you’re in crisis or need immediate support, please reach out: Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – available 24/7, free and confidential.